Till few months back, i wanted to avoid death. I knew its not possible, i would like to be the Dorian Gray. I dont want to age, i dont want to die. Not that, i would like to embrace it now, but recently i developed different view on it.
Death. Its like the last fullstop of an interesting book. If you ever read a book, which you are so much enjoying it, and got annoyed because the book has an ending after few pages. The reading speed goes slow, so that you can enjoy it for some more time. For me, it usually happens with RK Narayan books. We might not check the number of pages in that book, but we knew that , its going to end.
Now, i perceive life like that. Its a book. I dont know , how many pages are in it. But, i am sure, its going to end at some point. I dont know when its going to end either. However, its hard to accept the truth that, it will end , it does not matter, if i accept it or not, its going to end. I like it or not, i have to read it. While reading novels, we drop the novels, which are boring or depressing. With , book of life, i dont have that choice. I HAVE to read it.
The religionists believe that, Brahma or some guy who belongs to their religion wrote it and they have to read it. As a nihilist, i believe , i am the author of it. So, in a nutshell, i am writing a book, but i dont know when it will end. I have few choices to make. First, i write nothing, except mundane activities. In that case, when i reach the end, when i skim through the pages, i cant find anything worth reading. Lets say i am in death-bed with no physical activity what so ever. Would not i regret that i have no memories written which are worth reading, feel nostalgic , feel proud, feel ashamed, to feel anything at all. If the authour cant enjoy his/her own work , then its worst work possible in the world, is not it?
Second, believe that God will write it. No , i cant accept that. Third , let others write it. Hell NO.
Many i know, prepare cover page of the book first , then start writing it. The cover-page requires, a title, a photo and name of the author. The famous titles will be something like "Story of a successful man", "My love story" , "Me and my family" , "How soap operas changed me", "How i kicked asses of others", " The greatest man ever born" , " Me and Religion " etc etc . Once the title is fixed, then photo. A picture of him, in youth, with his life partner , while everybody is watching them, is a common picture. Or a photo of him , in youth (obviously! ) having good time with friends. Usually, the title will be decided by society and photo will resemble the trend in the movies.
Now, as they got title and photo ready, many want to write the content in accordance with the cover page. However, these people are better than the ones , who ask others to write a title and think of a photo. Their books will be written by others not them. Amazingly, at no point, they think that, their book is too boring. For the readers, they might be the worst authors, but they are in peace, believing destiny and all those crap.
Coming to me, i have decided on the photo. It will be me my pic on the death bed , laughing. Not that society accepted laugh, my special laugh. And the title? It would be "My life" like Bill Clinton autobiography or none. Just blank.
Previously , i wrote blog posts on similar topic. Now, i feel they don't have much depth. They are
After a quarter and అవును , నేను పాత విల్లన్ లాంటి వాడినే !! . Only change, now and then is , i am beginning to accept death.
Death. Its like the last fullstop of an interesting book. If you ever read a book, which you are so much enjoying it, and got annoyed because the book has an ending after few pages. The reading speed goes slow, so that you can enjoy it for some more time. For me, it usually happens with RK Narayan books. We might not check the number of pages in that book, but we knew that , its going to end.
Now, i perceive life like that. Its a book. I dont know , how many pages are in it. But, i am sure, its going to end at some point. I dont know when its going to end either. However, its hard to accept the truth that, it will end , it does not matter, if i accept it or not, its going to end. I like it or not, i have to read it. While reading novels, we drop the novels, which are boring or depressing. With , book of life, i dont have that choice. I HAVE to read it.
The religionists believe that, Brahma or some guy who belongs to their religion wrote it and they have to read it. As a nihilist, i believe , i am the author of it. So, in a nutshell, i am writing a book, but i dont know when it will end. I have few choices to make. First, i write nothing, except mundane activities. In that case, when i reach the end, when i skim through the pages, i cant find anything worth reading. Lets say i am in death-bed with no physical activity what so ever. Would not i regret that i have no memories written which are worth reading, feel nostalgic , feel proud, feel ashamed, to feel anything at all. If the authour cant enjoy his/her own work , then its worst work possible in the world, is not it?
Second, believe that God will write it. No , i cant accept that. Third , let others write it. Hell NO.
Many i know, prepare cover page of the book first , then start writing it. The cover-page requires, a title, a photo and name of the author. The famous titles will be something like "Story of a successful man", "My love story" , "Me and my family" , "How soap operas changed me", "How i kicked asses of others", " The greatest man ever born" , " Me and Religion " etc etc . Once the title is fixed, then photo. A picture of him, in youth, with his life partner , while everybody is watching them, is a common picture. Or a photo of him , in youth (obviously! ) having good time with friends. Usually, the title will be decided by society and photo will resemble the trend in the movies.
Now, as they got title and photo ready, many want to write the content in accordance with the cover page. However, these people are better than the ones , who ask others to write a title and think of a photo. Their books will be written by others not them. Amazingly, at no point, they think that, their book is too boring. For the readers, they might be the worst authors, but they are in peace, believing destiny and all those crap.
Coming to me, i have decided on the photo. It will be me my pic on the death bed , laughing. Not that society accepted laugh, my special laugh. And the title? It would be "My life" like Bill Clinton autobiography or none. Just blank.
Previously , i wrote blog posts on similar topic. Now, i feel they don't have much depth. They are
After a quarter and అవును , నేను పాత విల్లన్ లాంటి వాడినే !! . Only change, now and then is , i am beginning to accept death.
1 comment:
Many things. I'm the author of my book is not nihilistic but God is the author of my books is.
I don't like the idea of Death (respect for death hence the capitol D) being a full stop. I would wishfully like to thing of it as a comma.
Death is not at all to be feared and is to be welcomed. I even have been chasing Her for quite a long time :-) but She kept dodging me like the will-o-the-wisp.
If at there is anything to fear for the humans, It's being crushed under the weight of their own memories. So being on a death bed with no memories is like being in state of meditation. But still, I would prefer death to that.
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