Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Sunday, May 05, 2013
Being independent....
We admire a man who is independent. But independence is a nasty trait to have. I am not talking about financial independence.
Before discussing pros and cons of being independent , first we have to discuss how to be independent. The definition of independence clearly indicates that it's a trait which enables us to not to depend on others while making decisions. That is what our common understanding of the term teaches us. But the definition is incomplete at a subtle level.
Proving to others is one criteria a person wants to fulfill before he completely understands the definition of personal independence. Often independence is identified with the different things he does or follow. Why both are associated ? I think , the universal notion is , if you are no different than the neighbor ,then you are just following him. So just to prove myself as an individual with own taste , i have to differ with rest of the world. So, i have to do things which i might not like just for the sake of being different. I should not accept a generalized thing told by someone, though its benign. And that becomes the primary influential force in making decisions. But indirectly my decisions are based on decisions of others. I was in that trap when i was younger.
Another problem with that trait is, its a gullible one, its the glass construction around the house. The trait of independence gives us nothing but the self satisfaction that, i dont fall in the pit everybody falls, i shall fall in a different pit. And we have to pay huge price for that feeling, in terms of human relations, career, time, money etc etc. We need to protect it everytime, everywhere till we die. We have to procure the armor made up of nonchalance and weapons by melting knowledge and argumentative skills. Do they protect us from getting wounded? No. They only help us to sustain the attack.
The annoyance wont stop there. Sometimes a the thought of whats wrong in being like everybody else? Why should not I accept things which are fine by others? irritates the guy behind ribs will start kicking inside.
I agree, being independent is difficult. But , there are some positive side affects once you extend the idea beyond decisions. If the person dont depend on opinion of others,then he has to to give lot of "Benefit of doubt" while judging. As the person understands and digests the fact that each individual is different, he is less prone to generalize things .As he makes his own opinions , he will have no prejudices and shall get the trait of "Down-to-earth". Once he become practical, he would not talk loosely about others. Because, people talk in that manner to make others believe that they belong to a elite group, as he is independent and dont gravel for the acceptance of others, the words which come out of him will be sensible enough to gain respect. Understanding that each one is different with different set of problems, might lead to the path of forgiveness. We develop grudge over mistakes of others, because, we assume that he didnt react but chose to behave like that.
As the person develops opinions based on his experience , he is less susceptible to the influence of religion or racism which spread hatred. So the person will hate less, and shall have more peace than others. Once these traits has gone deep down, he will be become skeptical of everything. He might ask for proofs for everything , leading to disbelief in god. It does not mean he is atheist , it only means he is skeptical about the existence of God , which makes him an agnostic.
I am still trying to understand the side affects of individuality. If i found few more, i shall post them.
There is one personal experience i would like to share. My Uncle, who is a commoner, once told me that, a person should follow the path of others, because if there are any hurdles in that path, some one or other would think of the solution, so that we shall have solutions ready made. And thats why they are commoners. People dont remember them, worst, they have done nothing to feel proud of themselves.They cant be examples and they dont make a change in the world. They dont inspire. If they look back in life, there is nothing but boredom , their trials for acceptance of others, and depression when someone didnt recognize them. And for us, there will be lot of memories, might be failures, but still worth remembering . Whenever you find a person like that, just read the this poem by Robert Frost.
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Before discussing pros and cons of being independent , first we have to discuss how to be independent. The definition of independence clearly indicates that it's a trait which enables us to not to depend on others while making decisions. That is what our common understanding of the term teaches us. But the definition is incomplete at a subtle level.
Proving to others is one criteria a person wants to fulfill before he completely understands the definition of personal independence. Often independence is identified with the different things he does or follow. Why both are associated ? I think , the universal notion is , if you are no different than the neighbor ,then you are just following him. So just to prove myself as an individual with own taste , i have to differ with rest of the world. So, i have to do things which i might not like just for the sake of being different. I should not accept a generalized thing told by someone, though its benign. And that becomes the primary influential force in making decisions. But indirectly my decisions are based on decisions of others. I was in that trap when i was younger.
Another problem with that trait is, its a gullible one, its the glass construction around the house. The trait of independence gives us nothing but the self satisfaction that, i dont fall in the pit everybody falls, i shall fall in a different pit. And we have to pay huge price for that feeling, in terms of human relations, career, time, money etc etc. We need to protect it everytime, everywhere till we die. We have to procure the armor made up of nonchalance and weapons by melting knowledge and argumentative skills. Do they protect us from getting wounded? No. They only help us to sustain the attack.
The annoyance wont stop there. Sometimes a the thought of whats wrong in being like everybody else? Why should not I accept things which are fine by others? irritates the guy behind ribs will start kicking inside.
I agree, being independent is difficult. But , there are some positive side affects once you extend the idea beyond decisions. If the person dont depend on opinion of others,then he has to to give lot of "Benefit of doubt" while judging. As the person understands and digests the fact that each individual is different, he is less prone to generalize things .As he makes his own opinions , he will have no prejudices and shall get the trait of "Down-to-earth". Once he become practical, he would not talk loosely about others. Because, people talk in that manner to make others believe that they belong to a elite group, as he is independent and dont gravel for the acceptance of others, the words which come out of him will be sensible enough to gain respect. Understanding that each one is different with different set of problems, might lead to the path of forgiveness. We develop grudge over mistakes of others, because, we assume that he didnt react but chose to behave like that.
As the person develops opinions based on his experience , he is less susceptible to the influence of religion or racism which spread hatred. So the person will hate less, and shall have more peace than others. Once these traits has gone deep down, he will be become skeptical of everything. He might ask for proofs for everything , leading to disbelief in god. It does not mean he is atheist , it only means he is skeptical about the existence of God , which makes him an agnostic.
I am still trying to understand the side affects of individuality. If i found few more, i shall post them.
There is one personal experience i would like to share. My Uncle, who is a commoner, once told me that, a person should follow the path of others, because if there are any hurdles in that path, some one or other would think of the solution, so that we shall have solutions ready made. And thats why they are commoners. People dont remember them, worst, they have done nothing to feel proud of themselves.They cant be examples and they dont make a change in the world. They dont inspire. If they look back in life, there is nothing but boredom , their trials for acceptance of others, and depression when someone didnt recognize them. And for us, there will be lot of memories, might be failures, but still worth remembering . Whenever you find a person like that, just read the this poem by Robert Frost.
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Wednesday, May 01, 2013
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